March is National Women’s History Month, and in honor of that, I am discussing women in leadership. More specifically, things women do that are not in their best interest.
I am a woman, and I am a leader, and have been a leader for some time. (By the way, you don’t have to have direct report
s to be a leader.) Instead of working together and supporting women’s strengths and gifts, we do the three C’s—we compete, we compare and we criticize. I confess, I have been guilty of these, and I never feel good about myself when I do.
When we compete, we create an atmosphere of scarcity. There’s only one job, one look, one hairstyle, one way of life. That just isn’t true, and you don’t need to get all woo-woo to embrace that there are multiple, multiple ways to do things. When we compete, we need to win. When we win, someone loses. Winning is merely one part of the equation—the result. It does not include the journey,
and with that all the experiences that help us grow. For me, I want to know that I have helped other women achieve success, and that I can have success at the same time.
When we compare, you know what happens. We are either better or worse than someone. It is so dang hard not to compare, right? How do you know where you are, if you don’t compare with someone else? Yet, there are infinite variables that go into our success. How we grew-up, how we problem-solve, what are, or were, our opportunities we have had, etc. Comparing is destructive and creates a belief that you are not enough, and you are. Because even if you compare, and say you are better than, that means there is a measure of inadequacy or uncertainty. Christina Hibbert. PsyD, explains, “On a deeper level, however, we compare because we’re searching — searching for who we are and who we are not.”
Finally, when we criticize, we inhibit growth, we halt creativity, and we ask others to acknowledge that they are bad or not whole in some way. That doesn’t feel good at all. Criticism doesn’t even give us positive behavior change, at least not in the long term. When we criticize, it actually says more about us than it does about the person being criticized. Choose feedback instead.
I invite you to celebrate Women’s History Month, and to really take notice if you are doing any of the three C’s. If you want some accountability, check out the Women’s Leadership Heart & Soul group below. Help women grow and thrive and become the great leaders we were meant to be. Let’s celebrate our uniqueness, our passion and our purpose. We can support, connect and inspire.